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Melissa's Musings

Love Lasts Forever

4/13/2012

 
Love Lasts Forever…..
Those were the last words from a movie I saw last night.  It made me cry.  They were saying that love outlasts everything even death.  That thought isn’t anything new.  Shakespeare, poets and many authors have told us that it’s true. It’s a heartwarming and inspirational thought… but is it really true?

I know it is true when I think about my mom who died seven years ago.  My love for her hasn’t changed.  I assume that her love for me hasn’t either-but I can’t ask her, so I will just go with assume.  If someone figures out how to talk to the dead reliably, then I will know for sure.
           
Parents love their children.  They may not always like what their kids do, the choices that they make or the people that they marry, but parents love their children. It doesn’t matter whether you actually carry and birth the child or become parents another way.  The first time you watch them sleep, hold their hand in yours, or kiss their cheek…you love them.

The love of parents and children lasts forever. Ask any parent who has out lived their child or ask any child who has buried their parent and they will say it’s true (You will notice that I don’t encourage you to ask a teenager or an angry person- they will be contrary just to distance themselves from their parents.).

What about the love of families and siblings? Does it last forever? 
Recently I was reading a letter that my sister wrote to my teenage
daughter.  The letter was very profound and talked about life’s truths. 
One part that hit home with me was about family.  It said that you can fight with family but they will always be there for you.. No matter when the last time was you spoke or what happened in the past.  We may pick on our brothers or sisters but let anyone else and we immediately go on the offensive and start a fight.  Those are our family and we will defend them.  
           
So families and siblings love each other. They may not always show it. 
They may not even speak to you.  But they love you and it lasts forever.  Must have something to do with the time spent together growing up?? Maybe it is in your physical make-up, your genes, to love each other??

The love that this movie was talking about was between a couple.  You know, that one person you said you would love forever.  Does that love
last forever? Even after death??

Recently coming off a divorce, I want to argue that love doesn’t always
last forever.  Imagine being in Heaven surrounded by your loved ones, family, friends, kids and….your ex-husband or ex-wife!!!  Some people will tell you that isn’t Heaven but Hell!!  And what about people who kill, maim and abuse others in the name of love?  Can you imagine that love
lasting forever and seeing them again in Heaven?  Was the movie wrong???

I don’t think so.  What I believe happens is people change.  We grow and age- so does love.  Try fitting into your prom dress/suit or wedding gown/tux.  For many of us, that’s a laugh!  The style is outdated, may be discolored with age or it just doesn’t fit.  For my prom, my grandmother
made my dress.  I still have it today- can’t quite fit into it but it’s always a laugh when I try!  I believe love is like that dress.  What fit me when I was 15, won’t fit me today without some alterations or changes. Love has to be that way- changing, growing, evolving as we change, grow and
evolve.

As I said before, my marriage ended recently in divorce.  It was a twenty year marriage and began when I was 18.  It was a marriage that had a lot of love.  My two precious children were a gift from that love but the love in that marriage didn’t fit anymore.  We tried everything to get it to fit.  Just like people try everything to fit into those old clothes- diet, exercise. People who use love as a reason to hurt others are struggling to make that love fit even to the point that they might kill the person they love.  In the end, we couldn’t get into the marriage.  It was outdated and no amount of pushing and pulling would make it fit. 
        
Amazingly though, after an ordeal of love lost, people are able to find
love again.  A new love is developed and with it, all the knowledge and lessons from the past-maybe it is a better love.  Hopefully, it’s a stronger love that grows and changes to keep fitting both people. In a perfect world- it would last
forever.


           
 



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