I'm so happy to have Morgan Wyatt visiting my blog again and sharing her wonderful stories with you. Morgan's books thrill readers and make them dream of their own happily ever afters. You can find Morgan's first visit to my blog here:
To one lucky person, she is giving away a copy of both of her books and a Starbucks Gift Card. All you have to do is leave a comment with your email address to be entered.
Do you realize fear stops you from living the life you truly want? Often we don’t do what we want to do because we talk ourselves out of it by using fear scenarios. If I do this, then people might disapprove of me, I might lose my job, or it might cost me a great deal of money. Where did all these fears come from?
Anyone who has observed children may have noticed even at a young age some are fearless, while others are cautious. What causes the differences? Our personalities develop between the ages of two and five. If parents/caregivers see the world as a very scary place, that will shape their children’s view.
Why walk on the adventurous side? It gives you a chance to realize your secret dreams. It also allows you to grow as a person because you visualized a goal, put the steps in place to make it happen, then, did it. Each goal reached is a step on becoming more authentic.
Do you remember being fearless at any time? Did you expect your dreams no matter how grandiose could come true? As a child, I used to think I could fly. Too much Superman viewing caused me to jump off high places including out of my second floor bedroom window. Oddly, I never got hurt from these adventures, which only assured me I could fly, but only downward and fast. When my own son attempted to fly his first adventure ended in a cut chin killing his adventurous spirit immediately.
As parents and friends, we try to caution people against certain actions; afraid they might get hurt or fail. Why do we never think they might succeed or possibly fly? My grandmother used to tell me the things we fear never come to pass 90% of the time. I try to remember things that used to bedevil me when I was younger, and they never happened proving grandmother right.
My husband, then boyfriend, wanted to go rock climbing to push his barrier of fear. We did, but I was bad about leaving him hanging against the rock face, luckily, another climber helped me feed out the rope. This allowed him to overcome his fear, and reach his goal, but on the other hand, he found this wasn’t the sport for him. It may have been his partner.
Fear limits our careers, hobbies, even life partners. Often instead of calling it fear, we decide we aren’t worthy of a particular job, or partner. Are you aware that every product sold today is based on two emotions: fear and want? We use deodorant because we fear people will be repulsed by us. We buy a BMW because we want to impress people. Want is really just another form of fear too. What if we didn’t fear what people thought of us? We’d care less what type of car we drove.
Why is depression higher among women? Often they fear they’ve failed being a mother, a wife, a daughter, even just being female. How can you fail being yourself? When you are bombarded with media ads, plus critical people, even your own self-fulfilling prophecies you fall into negative spiral forgetting your dreams.
What are your dreams? What is stopping you? Often the thing that is in your way is you. Sometimes you can blame your job, your marriage, or your children. Usually it is us. At my husband’s work, they fly people out to a tropical island to present their business product. The only thing the employee has to do is explain how the business model works in front of a few hundred people. This free vacation while the Midwest is in the middle of seasonal frost sounds great to me. Unfortunately, many employees take a pass because it means confronting their fear of public speaking.
As we grow older, we tend to take fewer chances. Soldiers who’ve won the Medal of Honor are usually all in their early twenties. The thirty year old will think longer on a decision than his twenty-year old cousin. That’s why you have college students hiking across Europe with only a few bucks to their name. We don’t have to be like this. One of the most amazing church ladies I knew was climbing Everest at eighty. Other church ladies were quick to tell me, she was a shy woman when her domineering husband was alive. She’d put her dreams on hold, but she hadn’t abandon them.
When we allow things to go too long, it becomes harder and harder to do what we want. I’ve talked to co-workers who’ve never traveled out of the country, even had a pedicure or massage. It sounds good in theory, but isn’t something they could bring themselves to do now.
How can you be fearless? Accept who you are right now. Often people worry about what other people will think. Newsflash: other people don’t think about your actions hardly ever because they’re too concerned about their own lives. When my husband and I flew to Vegas to get married in the Elvis chapel, I figured my conservative family would be outraged. They honestly didn’t care, instead were glad to get out of attending another wedding that year. We had a great time, and had the dream wedding we wanted as opposed to caving into fear and going traditional.
Sometimes having mishaps allows us to become fearless people. When I traveled to Europe, I got lost in every major city at least once. This was one of my fears because I have no sense of direction, but I conquered it. Now when I travel I give myself a thirty minute “lost” buffer. I could stay home because of my fear of becoming lost. In being lost, I’ve found unique stores and restaurants I never would have. Do not let your fears hold you back.
It isn’t surprising that all my heroines conquer their fears. Darla in Blind Date, a contemporary short romance, accepts a fix up from her friend; even though she’s heard these things never turn out well. Emily in Undercover Rebel, a historical romance, crosses Civil War battlefields to find her missing fiancé. A commenter can win a Starbucks card, plus a copy of Undercover Rebel or Blind Date.
Darla never had time for love. Even though she worked in the perfume industry that epitomizes romance, no appropriate male ever wandered into the picture. Maybe that's why she accepted her friend's suggestion to fix up her up. Desperation, and a desire to make sure she even remembered how to act like a woman as opposed to a corporate warrior. Too bad, her arranged date fell on the eve before her meeting with some hot shot Italian nobleman she needed to sign for her company's continued success. Even more ironic, her blind date Alex, besides being the poster child for all things delicious, had a sexy Italian accent. The accent alone should have reminded her of the need to prepare for her meeting. Instead charmed by Alex's old world manners and animal magnetism, she allows him to take charge and forgets about business. Two things she'd never done before.
Don't forget to leave a comment with your email address to enter the giveaway! :)
11/1/2012 07:12:54 am
Morgan - great post! I'm working hard at being fearless as a writer. Fear has held me back (and I suspect many others) from putting my work out there. I suspect there are other areas of my life being stifled by fear, but for now, I'm working on the writing part! LOL
11/1/2012 07:33:42 am
11/1/2012 07:39:54 am
Thanks for the encouragement! I did recently publish my book on Amazon. Finding courage!
11/1/2012 10:54:52 am
Thank you Morgan for coming by! Fear holds all of us back at times! We really need to let go and trust that we are going in the right direction. I know it is easier said than done! I'm totally not fearless!
11/1/2012 12:34:21 pm
Thanks for having me Melissa. You have some great books out with excellent covers too.
11/1/2012 12:35:09 pm
Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, cross your fingers and toes...and say a prayer (or two).
11/1/2012 01:37:56 pm
Don't you think that is exactly what the astronauts do?
11/1/2012 03:00:52 pm
Great post Morgan, I know the older I get the more I have to push the fear aside and go for it, but it's worth it. I don't plan on growing old and spending time in a rocking chair.
11/2/2012 12:24:29 am
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