God's Timing #lifeexperience #grief #lifelessons

When we decided to put our home on the market, I said a silent prayer to God to make it all work out…if it was in his will. Little did I know, he had a plan.
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An offer came in, then the back and forth until we came to an agreement. Worry consumed me. Was it the right decision? Would the timing work out? We were losing our place but our new home wouldn’t be finished for another month after that. Luckily for us, Mark’s parents had a separate room in the basement, equipped with bed, bathroom, and sitting area. We wouldn’t be homeless nor forced to live in a hotel like we did when we’d bought our previous home. It wasn’t ideal but certainly a blessing. After all, we’d get to visit with our kids and the new granddaughter. 

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Shortly after arriving in Michigan, Mark’s mom entered hospice. She was dying. How long she’d have, only God knew but it seemed as if we were coming home for a purpose. A hospital bed was ordered and placed in the dining area so she could watch the trees and squirrels. She also was central in all the family gatherings, allowing her to be present. A wheelchair arrived and hospice aide came to bathe her twice a week. Mom was alert and enjoyed visiting with her family, from the great granddaughter, to her sister and other extended family. Tiring more quickly and needing pain meds, each day was a new adventure.
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Sometimes all we could do was laugh at the moments and comments. She’d forget her home or forget that she’d just talked to loved ones. Through it all, she found strength in her husband of seventy years, their love and bond. Forced to rely on others, she never forgot to thank me for the care she received. She fought to get better, even though that wasn’t possible due to her ailing ninety year-old body.

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The coming home plans had changed. Suddenly, we were running to the grocery store, helping Mom get out of bed, making sure she got her medicine, and juggling the needs of both her and Dad. Those days were challenging but we took our cues from Mom and her needs. In addition, we tried to give her and her loved ones a sense of peace, the knowledge that we’d shoulder the tough moments. God showed us his plan by putting us right where we were needed.

In two weeks of our arrival, she was gone.
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During her decline, we worried that we’d need to return to South Carolina for our new home closing before she was gone, that we’d be needed but wouldn’t be able to be here due to the new home timing. We questioned if we would need to put someone else in charge of Mom’s care, of her end of life. But God had thought of everything. We’d be with mom on her last days and we’d be alongside Dad as he adjusted to his new life. 

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In those early days after her passing, we updated Dad’s computer, assisted him with financial issues, and shouldered the day-to-day household items- laundry, groceries, and cleaning. All the while, we were able to enjoy visits with our children and granddaughter. We followed Mom’s last wishes, having her cremated so her ashes could be spread in her favorite place.
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Looking back at this past month, I see things clearer and am blessed that we were able to help Mark’s parents through this change of life. We are still carrying worry in our hearts as we return to South Carolina but we know that God has a plan, even if it’s one we can’t see. I will continue to question my decisions, if I’m doing the right thing, if I’m where I need to be but I have a deeper understanding and more faith that I’m not alone. 

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